Question Summary:
Marrying a Convert

Question Detail:

I am a muslim man wanting to marry a converted muslim girl, who respects my religion, my family and my society..Sincerely follows them. my family is oppsing just because how will they face society, they dont find any fault in girl..girl has left everything related to her past life...we want to marry only after the consent of my family but despite knowing everything they bring new proposal and are pressuring to get married within their cast and culutre. My reason for marrying her are not based on physical apperance at all,
I want to marry a woman who has the fear of Allah in her heart and wants to raise my children in an islamic manner. She converted four years ago and I only met her recently so I know she is sincere in her faith and devoted to it. We try to keep our contact to a minimum as I want the whole process to be halal and want to abstain from any haram relationship or connection with her and we both understand and respect that. She has sacrifised alot in her life for Islam and I have evidence for this, her parents hate her being a muslim and hate Islam so she is craving a Muslim god fearing man with muslim ties and family values where she can raise her kids in an Islamic way. My parents will not understand these points as there is a cultural clash and she is white but for me it does not matter as Islam is free from that.
My parents make the point that they will find me a practiing Muslim girl from their country but I can not see that working purely because I was rasied in a different way of life and culture to that. Therefore my reason for marrying her is that she is a muslimah and a god fearing woman and is also someone I can relate to and get along with in life. I don't see myself being happy marrying a girl from my parents country of origin for that reason. I do beilieve I have the right to marry her as Allah has given me the right but I also don't want to neglect the respect and honour my parents deserve in Islam as I have always fulfilled their wishes and have been an obedien son. They threaten me with the fact that they will dosown me if I marry ouside of our cast and culture. I want to ask is this right? I know their reason for this is that they want a girl who understands their culture and can cook all the lovely foods etc but I am not looking for that.
I am looking for a woman who accepts my religious criterias rather than if she can speak the language or can cook our foods etc. I am very confused in this situation imam. I will also perform istikhara on this matter and aproach local aalims and scholars which I have contacts with in plenty amounts alhumdulilah. But I just want to evaluate all me respnsed and make a sound judgement and decision on all facotrs.
 I do hope to hear from you so you man someone assist me in this matter.

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
The purpose of Nikāh is to safeguard one's chastity and attain peace and comfort through Nikāh. While performing the Nikāh is a noble act, one has to be conscious of many issues related to it. Parents like to see the happiness of their children in the marriage and they take their children`s marriage seriously. When your parents express their concern or even object on your marriage, this is motivated by their love and concern for you. You should therefore strongly consider the objections of your parents before making a decision.[1]
 
You have a right to choose a girl of your liking. Your parents concern is probably due to the fear of the consequences that will follow because of the cultural clash. It is best to express your feelings to your parents.[2] Try to reason with them that in any woman, there will be challenges. Cultural diversity could be managed like any other differences. Also, impress upon them that the guidance of Allah is the best of guidance. Therefore, you will make istikhāra and be guided through that. In doing so, this will be good for you and your parents. Inshā-Allah, with the grace and mercy of Allah Ta`ālā, both sides will be guided to the right path.[3]   
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
AbdulMannan Nizami
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, IL, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net