Question Summary:
Can I run away and get married? Question Detail:
I am a Muslim woman who wants to marry a Muslim man but my parents have said no with no valid reason but for the fact that the boy must go for Jamaat.
We plan to run away and have a Nikah. Kindly advise how can we do this as we do not want to live in sin.
Answer :
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam.
The underlying purpose of marriage is to attain peace and comfort. That is achieved through having the most suitable spouse. If one does not have a suitable spouse, there will be turbulence and grief in the marriage, thus defeating the purpose of marriage.
Our parents love us dearly. We are closer to their hearts than themselves. They have our interests and happiness at heart. They also have the experience of life and understand the temperaments of people much more than us.
While we understand that according to Shariah, you as an adult female have an independent right to choose your marriage partner, there is a great possibility that you may err due to being young and inexperienced in life. You can never afford to make a mistake in your marriage. Your parents love you and wish you to have a blissful marriage. They understand that a boy who has taqwa in him will be best suited for you.
Generally, the noble work of Tableegh generates taqwa in one and therefore, the preference of your parents. The easy solution is for your parents to encourage the boy in reference to go out in Jamaat. Also explain to your parents that the boy must not be completely judged through his association with Jamaat. People engaged in Jamaat also experience serious marital problems. It is best to do Istikharah and seek the divine guidance of Allah.
Furthermore, running away with the boy will be disastrous for you. You will have to face many negative circumstances such as:
You will bring disgrace and disrepute to yourself and your family. Shariah prohibits one from undertaking anything that may cause one disgrace, shame and humiliation.
Your connection and link with your close family will be severed whereas this is from among the major sins.
This will result in the disobedience of your parents.
Remember that at some point in time you will need to come to your family home. If your parents are not happy, then this may result in serious domestic problems.
Therefore, we advise that you let your rationale prevail over your emotions and take the right and honourable steps in making a sound decision.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Nabeel Valli
Student Darul Iftaa
Zambia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
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