Question Summary:
Please help me to deal with pornography addiction? Question Detail:
I have been masturbating and watching pornography for the last 4-5 years, I’m almost 16 now. I started at the age of 10 where I was put in a bad environment, I used to play games and those games had sexual images and I watched bad movies. But nobody stopped me, I was 10 and my choices weren’t totally up to me.
I have been doing Hifz for the last 2 and a half years, I’ve done 21 Juz and I see that my sinning has after my memorization, I have basically forgot a lot. I have made Tawbah a lot of time and then broke it. Please help me for the sake of Allah. I don’t want to sin and I don’t want this to take over my thoughts and life. Please advise?
Answer :
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykumwa-rahmatullāhiwa-barakātuh.
We are pleased to hear of your good intentions to refrain from the evil sins of pornography and masturbation. These are indeed despicable sins which ruin the life of an individual. You are in the prime of your life. As a teenager, ones desires and passions are at the highest. However, one who controls one’s passions and desires shall surely taste the sweetness of Eemaan. One should make a concerted effort to protect yourself from the evil temptations and insinuations of Shaytaan.
Rasullullah (SallallahuAlayhiWaSallam) said:
حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، عَنْ عُبَيْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنِي خُبَيْبُ بْنُ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، عَنْ حَفْصِ بْنِ عَاصِمٍ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: " سَبْعَةٌ يُظِلُّهُمُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى فِي ظِلِّهِ يَوْمَ لاَ ظِلَّ إِلَّا ظِلُّهُ: إِمَامٌ عَدْلٌ، وَشَابٌّ نَشَأَ فِي عِبَادَةِ اللَّهِ، وَرَجُلٌ قَلْبُهُ مُعَلَّقٌ فِي المَسَاجِدِ، وَرَجُلاَنِ تَحَابَّا فِي اللَّهِ، اجْتَمَعَا عَلَيْهِ وَتَفَرَّقَا عَلَيْهِ، وَرَجُلٌ دَعَتْهُ امْرَأَةٌ ذَاتُ مَنْصِبٍ وَجَمَالٍ فَقَالَ: إِنِّي أَخَافُ اللَّهَ، وَرَجُلٌ تَصَدَّقَ بِصَدَقَةٍ فَأَخْفَاهَا حَتَّى لاَ تَعْلَمَ شِمَالُهُ مَا تُنْفِقُ يَمِينُهُ، وَرَجُلٌ ذَكَرَ اللَّهَ خَالِيًا، فَفَاضَتْ عَيْنَاهُ " (صحيح البخاري، ج2 ص111، دار طوق النجاة (مصورة عن السلطانية بإضافة ترقيم ترقيم محمد فؤاد عبد الباقي)
“There will be seven types of people on the Day of Judgment which will be shaded under the A’rsh (throne) of Allah from the intense heat of the sun. One of these seven people will be those youngsters which have spent their entire youth in the worship and obedience of Allah and have refrained from committing sins.”
Refraining from a bad and evil habit requires courage and determination. Make a firm determination and resolve not to commit these evil sins. Will power is the most critical and fundamental aspect in refraining from such evil habits/sins. Develop self-control and discipline within yourself in order to refrain from sins. HadhratMoulana Shah Hakeem AkhtarSaheb (Nawwarallhu Marqadahu) used to advise that “All that is required is determination and courage in refraining from sins”.
We advise you to immediately undertake the following remedial measures to solve your addiction:
1. Restrict your internet usage to the bare minimum and only out of need and necessity. You may install the DNS software on your computer and block all unsuitable websites.
2. Use the computer in a common place when people are around you.
3. Request some elderly person who you respect, your parents, your wife or any other person to invigilate you when you are using the internet. There are certain internet software programmes which allow others to monitor your internet usage; you may install such software on your computer/device.
4. Imagine the disgrace and shame that will overcome you if your wife, parents or teacher comes to know of the filthy act that you have done. Where would you hide your face if the entire public comes to know of the sin that you are involved in?
5. Before you sleep every night, think about death and how you will be buried in the gravewith no-one to assist you and help you. Imagine Ghusl (pre-burial bathing)being done to you, you will then be enshrouded with the Kafn, people will be crying, the JanazaSalaah will be performed and then your body will be carried to the graveyard and then you will be buried in the depths of the ground. Who will be there to assist you on that day? Every day, take out some time before you go to sleep and think about death. Insha’Allah, this will remove the ghaflat (heedlessness) from your Nafs.
6. Keep yourself occupied at all times. Keep a Tasbeeh(rosary) in your pocket and whenever you have time and you are not really doing anything, take out your Tasbeeh (rosary) and make Dhikr. Remember that “An idle mind is a devils workshop”.
7. You state that you have completed 21 Juz of the Qur’an and that you have forgotten a huge portion of that, you should consult with your Hifdh teacher and make Dhor of those portions which you feel you may have forgotten. Work hard and never lose hope.
Remain firm and resolute in your quest. Never give up hope. Always, keep trying. Never give way to the subtle whisperings of Shaytaan. At first, refraining from sins might be extremely difficult, but after constant struggle and punishing of the Nafs, the Nafs will finally become tamed and then you will feel pleasure in refraining from sins. Insha’Allah, one day Allah (Ta’ala) will open up his treasures of Ma’rifat and Mahabbah to you. Aameen.
Allah (SubhanahuWaTa’ala) says:
و الذين جاهدوا فينا لنهدينهم سبلنا
“And those who strive to attain our pleasure; we shall definitely guide them to our paths” (Al- Qur’an, 29: 69)
In the above verse, Allah (SubhanahuWaTa’ala) promises those who make an effort to gain the love of Allah (SubhanahuWaTa’ala). The promise of Allah (SubhanahuwaTa’ala) will definitely come to pass, there can be no doubt about that. All that is required is that we continue striving in this path and we will surely attain the Ma’rifat of Allah (Ta’ala).
Kindly refer to the following link for details on curing masturbation:
http://www.askimam.org/public/question_detail/19499
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Ismail Desai,
Darul Iftaa
Durban, South Africa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
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