Question Summary:
I used to chat with non-mehram men in the past. I feel guilty. How can I compensate for my sins? Is it permissible for a married man to freely communicate with non-mahram women?

Question Detail:

I live in the USA. I have been married for 5 years.
I was married to my first husband who then I asked for divorce because I was in love with someone else. I was in nikkah and the rukhsati never happened with my first husband.
I am married to the person who I met online and fell in love with and I always thought that he would stay the same the whole life.
At first my parents were not agreeing for me to get divorced from my first husband and stay in nikkah but then I insisted and my first husband also thought that it would not be easy for him to stay with me after knowing that I like someone else.
I have committed so many sins. I used to chat with boys online and used to have cyber sex with them but now I feel guilty and have repented to my Allah many times. I have left all bad deeds and am trying to fight with Shaitan.
As of now, me and my husband work in a grocery store. As we live in the USA there are boys and girls working together in this store. I always keep myself in limitation and do not talk to boys but my husband is very outspoken.
He is always talking to girls and making fun with them. It really hurts me and in response my heart says that go back to your bad deeds and take revenge from your husband. But then my heart says no let him do what he is doing. You have repented to Allah and you cannot go back to do bad deeds.
My question is this permissible for a man to talk to girls in a frank way even when he is married?
One more thing is that I do not have any kids and I do not want to worked but my husband says you have to work to help me out. I want to stay home and be more of a house wife. I am so depressed and I feel so guilty for what I have done in my life. I have repented to Allah so many times but I still do not feel good in my heart. Sometimes I feel it is happening because I hurt somebody in my life and went against my parents and first of all my Allah. Please guide me and show me the guidance.

Answer :

the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. 
We are pleased to hear that you regret the sins you have committed in the past.
Your act of communicating with non-mahram boys was indeed despicable. The reason you are going through such a situation is because you have violated the laws of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala. When the laws of Allah are violated, it brings about depression, difficulties, loneliness, etc.
However, you have repented for your sins and have promised Allah not to return back to these sins. This life is a test and Shaitan will always attempt to misguide you throughout your life towards the wrong direction and committing sins. Your challenge is to avoid the whispers of Shaitan and to be steadfast on the deen of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala. As they say, “Let’s forget the past and look forward to our future.” Whatever has occurred in the past, we cannot change it. The only thing we can do is to compensate in the future for our past actions.
 
As far as working in the store is concerned, according to Shari’ah women should be concealed in their homes due to the interaction with non-mahram men in public places. Allah mentions in the Quran:
{وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ وَلَا تَبَرَّجْنَ تَبَرُّجَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ الْأُولَى} [الأحزاب: 33]
“And abide in your houses and do not display yourselves as was the display of the former times of ignorance.” (Al-Ahzab: 33)
The despicable actions of your husband in freely communicating with non-mahram women and making merry with them is forbidden and Haram. Your husband should immediately revoke such actions and repent to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala. It is not permissible for your husband to freely talk to non-mahram women even if he is married. On the other hand, you cannot retaliate to your husband by reverting back to your previous sins and violating the laws of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala. You can try and speak to your husband in sorting out this issue and help him understand that Shari’ah has not given the permissibility of such actions.
Here under are few things that you may do which will invoke the mercy of Allah:
1.      Offer your 5 daily Salahs
2.      Recite a portion from the Quran daily.
3.      Listen to the lectures of pious people.
4.      Perform zikr.
5.      Educate yourself in deen.
6.      Make taubāh to Allah that you shall never return back to your bad habits.
All of these things will bring contentment to your heart and peace in your life. It will also remove your depression Inshallah.
{الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُمْ بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ أَلَا بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ} [الرعد: 28]
“Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah, Verily, the contentment of the heart lies in the remembrance of Allah. (Ar-Ra’d: 28)
We pray for you that Allah make it easy for you to practice upon his deen. Ameen!
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mawlana Abdul Hannan Nizami,
Student Darul Iftaa
USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net