Question Summary:
I was a Hindu. I am in love with a Musim boy for the past 6 years. Talking to him, I learnt about Islam. Alhamdullilah, I converted to Islam almost one and half years ago.

Question Detail:

Assalamu walaykum,

I was a Hindu. I am in love with a Musim boy for the past 6 years. Talking to him, I learnt about Islam. Alhamdullilah, I converted to Islam almost one and half years ago.

I live in USA. My parents are from a Hindu orthodox family in India. I recently told my parents that I want to marry this boy. They are very unhappy about this. My mom has been worrying about it and her health has become worse. I came to India to visit them.
Now my mom's health is better after seeing me. But they are asking me to stay back in India and forget the boy I want to marry and marry a Hindu boy. My father feels that I have betrayed him and broken his trust although he has taken such good care of me and always given me what I wanted. His only wish for me is to marry a Hindu boy from a good family. I feel so bad that I cannot fulfil his only wish. I tried to convince them but they don't listen.

I want to be a Muslim and marry him and go back to USA since he lives in USA. But my parents say that I am very selfish and that I don't care about them. They say that if I go back to USA, they will never talk to me, they will worsen their health and die. My parents are very important and I do not want to hurt them. But I want to be a Muslim and follow the right path. I love the boy very much and cannot live without him. I feel very depressed and selfish and worried about my parents.

Please help me with your suggestion.

Answer :

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Assalāmu `alaikum Warahmatullāhi Wabrakatuh,

Jazakillah for sharing with us the  difficulty  you are experiencing in wishing to please your parents and at the same time remain an obedient servant of  Allah Ta’ala.
Alhamdoelillah, you have been blessed with the  gift of imaan.  You are probably aware that nothing in this world can match the glory and blessing of being a Muslim. The learned elders remind us that  one may own mountains of wealth, be of noble lineage, be highly educated and/ or possess enormous physical beauty. However, if that person does not have Imaan, then he/she is considered to be the poorest of the poor.  Conversely, an individual may have very little material wealth, suffer many different challenges in life and may be rejected and reviled by others due to his/her imaan. This person is considered to be the wealthiest person on earth. As Muslims, we are expected to always obey Allah Ta’ala and seek His pleasure before seeking the acceptance and pleasure of any human being. As long as we do not encroach on the rights of our fellow human beings, He will be pleased with us.
As a Muslim, you are expected to respect your parents and treat them with  kindness. It appears to be very painful for you that your parents are unhappy with your reversion to Islam and also with your choice of a Muslim husband. I guess it is their love for you that makes them feel that they can still convince you to give up your true faith. You fear hurting them and being the cause of their suffering and pain. Your love for them also means that you feel torn between two choices.  Namely, do you choose to leave parents and leave them unhappy and sad, or do you go ahead and chose a life that includes your obedience to Allah Ta’ala?
Sister, you have to remember that out of billions of human beings on this earth, you have been specifically chosen by Allah Ta’ala to revert to Islam. Your faith does not depend on any human being, nor did you receive this gift because of some other human being’s decision. A friend who has been a revert to Islam for several years said to me recently,  “ Every revert woman should fall in love with Allah Ta’ala first before falling in love with a man (or woman if it is a man who accepts Islam).
You need to remember that we human beings are fallible, finite, bound to commit sins and we break our promises. Only Allah Ta’ala is infallible, infinite and true to His promise. Allah Ta’ala’s love for us is unconditional and totally compassionate and merciful.
With regards to your parents, go on loving them and let them know that you truly respect and care for them. Do rest assured that you have not betrayed them.  You have responded to your Creator’s invitation and you have accepted the most valuable gift that has been presented to you once again in your adult life. You need to let them know gently that you will love them for the rest of your life.
Sister, you are not in control of their health or their happiness. Unfortunately, your parents have made the choice to allow their health to suffer because they find it difficult to accept your decision. Their health, living and dying is not under your control, nor is their health due to you. Allah Ta’ala has given every human being the ability to make choices (unlike animals and angels who were not granted choices). Allah Ta’ala  expects that each one of us will make choices that will help maintain our good health. Death only occurs when Allah Ta’ala commands the angel of death to remove the soul of His creation. Nothing and nobody can delay or stop the process of death once Allah Ta’ala given the command for the soul to be removed.
Only Allah Ta’ala knows the  time, place and ‘how’ of the death of every individual.
Shaitaan is trying his utmost to make your parents to deviate you from the straight path that you have chosen. Shaitaan will make every effort and use your loved ones in every possible way to drive you back towards returning to the worship of idols. He wants you to remain a slave of him rather than to continue to be a worshipper of Allah Ta’ala. You are not being selfish, so do not be afraid to go on ‘celebrating’ your imaan and your deen. Male lots of dua for your parents so that Allah Ta’ala helps them to join you very soon. Insha’Allah, they will accept Islam soon, recite the Quran and join you in practicing Islam. We have many incidents of non-Muslim parents who were violently opposed their children’s acceptance of Islam but Alhamdoelillah, they eventually reverted and became Muslims themselves.
May Allah Ta’ala keep you steadfast on the path of Islam, may you become a flag bearer of Islam so that you will invite all your relatives to join you and accept Islam.  May you also find peace and happiness in your marriage and may you be blessed with pious children who will be the coolness of your eyes and who will have the best character, ameen.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Sister Fadila,
B.A. (Sociology & Psychology) Unisa.
Social Work (NDP) Unisa.
Contact :    031 207 6483
082 833 9755
Durban, South Africa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net