Question Summary:
I got married 6 years back. This marriage was organized by my parents against my wishes Before marriage the engagement took time of 7 years and I completely shown to my parents that I hate this relationship because they were forcing me to get marry this girl and she was not Question Detail:
I got married 6 years back. This marriage was organized by my parents against my wishes Before marriage the engagement took time of 7 years and I completely shown to my parents that I hate this relationship because they were forcing me to get marry this girl and she was not appealing to me, she was not compatible to me because the society and our mind sets were different. But my parents refused my wishes and knotted me with her.
Starting 3 months I had tried to change my self but I am failed because she was same as I was thinking, she never tried to find that our relationships are goes down she never care that what I want, what type of man I am. She is typical classic lady, she has no sense how to maintain a girl, how to talk to others, how to behave to a husband, I mean to say she is completely out of my expectations. I had tried a lot to make her best but she likes to live the way she is and I can’t live in this frame. All my relatives knows that this marriage was done by forcedly so nobody come to ask me what are the problems occur in between.
Now I have decided to get divorce and I told to all but nobody is ready to help me out we are not physical in relation ship since last 9 months and I promised my self that I am taking oath that I will not touch her and want to get divorce. We have no child One more question? 1 years back the jewelry monument were stolen from my room, the jewelry which were gifted to her from my family and the jewelry she bought from her side both were stolen.. How to settle this account at the time of Talaq? I have no money because I my business got loss Please guide me I am very much upset with my life
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In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh
Nikāh is a sacred bond where the sublime name of Allāh Ta’āla is uttered to bring two individuals together who were totally forbidden for each other. Hence, we should always try to look for solutions to save the marriage. There is no individual who is immune to faults; however the challenge is to learn how to accept the others inspite of his/her shortcomings. One effective method of reconciliation would be to carry out the noble advice mentioned in the Qur’ān, where Allāh Ta’āla says:
وإن خفتم شقاق بينهما فابعثوا حكما من أهله وحكما من أهلها إن يريدا
إصلاحا يوفق الله بينهما إن الله كان عليما خبيرا (النساء35)
“If you fear a breach between the two of them (i.e. husband and wife) appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from hers; if they wish for peace Allāh Ta’āla will reconcile them for Allāh has full knowledge and is acquainted with all things”.
The arbitrators are appointed from the side of both the spouses who would discuss the problem. Allāh Ta’āla says that if the husband and wife really seek reconciliation, through this method, Allāh Ta’āla would reconcile between them.
However, if the above option does not materialize then as a last resort you may issue one Talāq. The most preferable method of issuing a Talāq is, the husband issue one divorce in such a tuhar (i.e. the wife is not experiencing haydh or nifās) wherein he did not cohabited with his wife.
(Bahisti Zewar, Pg.499, Zam Zam)
In your query you have mentioned that you have taken an oath not to touch your wife, in terms of shari῾ah such an oath is called ‘īlā. After taken such an oath if one does not engage in sexual intercourse with his wife within four (lunar) months, Talāq-e-bā’in will take place. However, if the husband breaks his oath and engage in sexual intercourse with his wife within four months then he will have to pay kaffārah for breaking his oath and Talāq will not occur.
(Bahisti Zewar, Pg.437, Zam Zam)
As for jewelry if it was kept by you as an amānah (trust) and it was stolen due to your negligence then you will have to compensate. However, if it was just kept in the room and thereafter it was stolen, then you are not responsible.
(Bahisti Zewar, Pg.538, Zam Zam)
And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best
Wassalāmu ῾alaykum
Ml. Abduz Zaman,
Student Dārul Iftā
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Dārul Iftā, Madrasah In῾āmiyyah
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