Question Summary:
1) I am in USA and my wife is in Pakistan.. I gave one talaq to my wife before 2 years… It was by post… one and half month after that, I did ruju and revoked the talaq by post…..2) is wife allowed to give talaq? what about khula? how does she ask for khula?

Question Detail:

1) I am in USA and my wife is in Pakistan.. I gave one talaq to my wife before 2 years... It was by post... one and half month after that, I did ruju and revoked the talaq by post..
I did not meet my wife since then but we used to talk once in a while over the phone... Our relation was never on the right track and we used to argue lot over the phone and we both were also trying to get together again. Our families are not happy about we being together.
Yesterday, after another argument, My wife sent me sms saying talaq talaq talaq and said she is Haram for me..
What does that mean?
My understanding is that wife is not allowed to say talaq and talaq given by wife is not valid...
2) is wife allowed to give talaq? what about khula? how does she ask for khula?

Answer :

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In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh
 
A divorce, primarily, can only be issued by the husband. The wife’s ‘divorce’ is void; it carries no effect. Yes, in circumstances, the wife can propose returning her Mahr (dower) to the husband in lieu of a divorce. This is termed Khula’, in Arabic (in this case too, eventually if the husband does accept this exchange, he will issue the divorce).^[1]
 (Al Bahrur Raiq Vol. 4, Pg. 70, Maktabah Rasheediyyah)
The wife can make the appeal of Khula’ from the husband, as stated above, and together with this she may even petition this to a legitimate and reliable Shariah Body as well.
In light of the above, it becomes evident that by your wife uttering the Talaq thrice, the divorces will not be effective.
Also, gauging from the input and expressions of your wife (the talaq’s, etc.), we strongly recommend that you seek marital counsel to resolve the marriage, which is the preferred, otherwise dissolve the marriage if unable to arrive at any agreeable and cordial resolve. Counsel may be sort from your local Ulama or those expertly involved in this field. Together with adopting these mediums, you should implore Allah Ta’ālā to make this issue easy, for He is The Uniter of hearts and The All-Wise.
 
And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best
Wassalāmu ῾alaykum 
 
Ml. Zeyad Danka,
Student Dārul Iftā
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Dārul Iftā, Madrasah In῾āmiyyah