Question Summary:
I am married to a rally nice god muslim lady and i love and respect her. However, as a man she doesnt fully understand my needs. I cant live with one woman in my life and am not into Haram inshaa allah. Talked to her about second marriage she was reallly upset and doesnt agree to polygomy. What’s in media we all know is that plygomy is only IF… Question Detail:
I am married to a rally nice god muslim lady and i love and respect her. However, as a man she doesnt fully understand my needs. I cant live with one woman in my life and am not into Haram inshaa allah. Talked to her about second marriage she was reallly upset and doesnt agree to polygomy. What's in media we all know is that plygomy is only IF there is aproblem with the first wife. people never talk about men's needs (some men at least). Briefly, I knew another woman in another city, She is a decent lady (however christian) we discussed the issue and wrote a marriage contarct and some of my friends and relatives knew that as witnesses. However, am not planning to inform my first wife about it. I do my best to respect her feelings. Also, Itry my best to comfort the second one. I am keen not to commit Haram and am afraid if this (sort of secret marriage is). I pray to God to help and support.
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In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh
a) Islam has permitted Muslim men to marry Ahle Kitāb women (those who believe in a divine religion and follow a book that has been revealed). She should not be like the Christians of today i.e. they are Christian by name but in reality, they do not follow any divine religion. However, even though the Nikaah will be valid, it is disliked and there is much harm in that. In the Khilāfah of Umar (Radiyallahu anhu), Umar (Radiyallahu anhu) prevented Muslim men from marrying Ahle kitāb women.
(Fatāwa Hindiyyah, Vol.1, Pg.281, Rashīdiyyah)[1]
(Fatawa Mahmūdiyyah, Vol.11, Pg.450, Fārūqiyyah)
b) If you honestly feel that you need to take a second wife otherwise you will fall into Harām, we advise you to take a Muslim lady as your second wife other than a lady from the Ahle Kitāb. In this way, your Deen will be protected as well as the Deen of your children (if Allah blesses you with children from that ). You will also be incumbent upon you to maintain equality between the spouses.
c) If you decide to take a second wife and you are sure you will be able to maintain both marriages, the marriage should not be conducted secretly. In order for the validity of the Nikāh, the Nikāh must be done in the presence of two Shari’ witnesses.
(Hidāyah, vol.2, pg.306, Shirkah)[2]
Rasulullah (sallallāhu alaihi wasallam) has encouraged the Mulims to announce their Nikāhs and have it in the Masājid, as this will also avoid the suspicion of the people.
(Sunan Tirmidhi, Vol.1, pg 207,HM Saeed)[3]
And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best
Wassalāmu ῾alaykum
Ml. Rayhaan Docrat,
Student Dārul Iftā
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Dārul Iftā, Madrasah In῾āmiyyah
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