Question Summary: Time for fulfilling carnal desires Question Detail:
If a man's mother passes away and has a need to fulfil his sexual desire, until what time is it advisable to delay intercourse for the sake of mourning.
Answer :
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
According to Shari’ah, one may mourn the death of a person only until three days. It is not permissible to mourn the death of a person for more than three days.[i]
However, a widow will mourn the death of her husband for four months and ten days if she is not conceived. If she is conceived, then her mourning period will be until she gives birth irrespective of it being before four months and ten days or more.[ii]
If a person mother passes away, he may fulfill his carnal desires after three days if he needs to. He should not abstain from fulfilling her carnal desires with his wife as a practice of mourning. [iii]
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Checked and Approved by, Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
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[i] صحيح البخاري ـ م م (2/ 87)
1280 - حدثنا الحميدي حدثنا سفيان حدثنا أيوب بن موسى قال أخبرني حميد بن نافع عن زينب بنت أبي سلمة قالت لما جاء نعي أبي سفيان من الشأم دعت أم حبيبة رضي الله عنها بصفرة في اليوم الثالث فمسحت عارضيها وذراعيها وقالت إني كنت عن هذا لغنية لولا أني سمعت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول لا يحل لامرأة تؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر أن تحد على ميت فوق ثلاث إلا على زوج فإنها تحد عليه أربعة أشهر وعشرا
[ii] رد المحتار (12/ 356)
قَوْلُهُ : فَلَمْ يَخْرُجْ عَنْهَا إلَّا الْحَامِلُ ) فَإِنَّ عِدَّتَهَا لِلْمَوْتِ وَضْعُ الْحَمْلِ كَمَا فِي الْبَحْرِ ، وَهَذَا إذَا مَاتَ عَنْهَا وَهِيَ حَامِلٌ
رد المحتار (12/ 354)
( وَ ) الْعِدَّةُ ( لِلْمَوْتِ أَرْبَعَةُ أَشْهُرٍ ) بِالْأَهِلَّةِ لَوْ فِي الْغُرَّةِ كَمَا مَرَّ ( وَعَشْرٌ ) مِنْ الْأَيَّامِ بِشَرْطِ بَقَاءِ النِّكَاحِ صَحِيحًا إلَى الْمَوْتِ ( مُطْلَقًا ) وُطِئَتْ أَوْ لَا وَلَوْ صَغِيرَةً ، أَوْ كِتَابِيَّةً تَحْتَ مُسْلِمٍ وَلَوْ عَبْدًا فَلَمْ يَخْرُجْ عَنْهَا إلَّا الْحَامِلُ .
[iii] Islamic guide to sexual relations, Pgs 26,27
Selecting a time for sexual relations
The optimal time for fulfilling carnal desires is one is relaxed and temperamental balance exists in both spouses. Any tension or anxiety, whether hunger, thirst, anger, depression or illness will dampen the passion and may well prove to be unhealthy for the body.
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