Question Summary:
My Istikharah is positive, but his father disagrees, what should i do?

Question Detail:

Assalam Aliakum. 

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Sister in Islam,

At the outset, we wish to remind you that anything Haram will always have negative and painful consequences. It was haram for you to be in contact with the man. Your stress and depression are the consequences of the Haram relationship. According to Shariah (Islamic Law), it is haram (strictly prohibited) for both of you to be in contact with each other.

We advise you to terminate all contact with this man as this is haram (strictly prohibited). Maintain your dignity and honour, turn to Allah by seeking his assistance and guidance.

Furthermore, there are many things to consider in determining one’s marriage partner. This requires maturity, deep thought, and profound insight of life. In the situation in reference, you identified a man and were involved with him for 4 and a half years. You then proceeded to make Istikharah. This is not the correct procedure in deciding to marry.

Exercise precaution and do not think for a moment that you cannot get married to anyone else.

It is also advisable to seek the counsel (Mashwara) of appropriate people to assist you in your decision.

It is very possible that Allah has destined somebody else for you which may be better in your interest according to the infinite wisdom of Allah. Marriage is about peace and comfort. Look for another Muslim man who can be part of your heart and life wholeheartedly.

Furthermore, Istikharah must be performed with a balanced thought and frame of mind. It is possible the dream you refer to are reflections of your feelings of love for the person and not Divine guidance from Allah.

Turn to Allah with Salah-tul-Hajah, Dua, and Zikr and adopt all possible means to find a suitable marriage partner. May Allah grant you a most compatible Husband. Aameen.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Abdullah Syed Sajid

Student Darul Iftaa
Houston, TX, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.