Question Summary:
I don’t get along with my father

Question Detail:

Assalamualaikum, i am worried because i hate my father, he has never been friendly to me and that always cause severe headache and I just can't focus on anything even if I hear his voice because of hatred. Even when I'm performing Salah, please suggest me something to calm myself down.

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

We take note of the contents of your email. We are unable to comment on your fathers’ attitude towards you as we do not know the background and context of the issue.

We advise you to be respectful to your father. This is an injunction of Allah Ta’ālā in the Qur’an.

Allah Ta’ālā says,

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا  [الإسراء: 23]

 “Your Sustainer has ordained that you do not worship but him and that you show kindness to your parents. If one of them or both of them reach old age in your life, do not say to them: ‘Ugh!’ nor scold them. Rather, speak to them with respect. Lower before them the wing of humility out of tenderness and say: ‘O Sustainer! Show mercy to them as they reared me when I was little.’

وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا وَبِذِي الْقُرْبَى وَالْيَتَامَى وَالْمَسَاكِينِ وَالْجَارِ ذِي الْقُرْبَى وَالْجَارِ الْجُنُبِ وَالصَّاحِبِ بِالْجَنْبِ وَابْنِ السَّبِيلِ وَمَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ [النساء: 36]

 “Worship Allah and join none with him (in worship), and do good to parents, kinfolk, orphans, poor, (the) neighbour who is near of kin, (the) neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the way farer (you meet) and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess” 

You may discuss your feelings towards to a senior person of the family and seek his wise counsel.

We make dua that Allah Ta’ālā put barakah in your youth and make you pious and an asset for the Ummah.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Huzaifah Deedat

Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.