Question Summary:
Parents are making marriage difficult

Question Detail:

assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh My parents are making marriage difficult for me. I have met a Muslim man who is on his deen, is of good character and can provide for me. He has come to my parents and asked for my hand. My parents refused because his parents are divorced and he has also divorced once before. He married someone who was not practicing Islam and they tried to steer him away from Islam as well. My parents are trying to convince me he is not right for me and will divorce me also. I genuinely love him for his deen and character. We connected over our love of Islam and have done our best to do things the Islamic way. But my parents are involving issues from his past and not allowing us to move ahead. How can I explain to them that they are making marriage difficult for us and involving outward things in their decision? I need some advice as to where to go from here.

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Sister-in-Islam

You wish to get married to the person in reference. You base that on your love for him due to his Deen and character.

Conversely, your parents do not wish you to marry him due to his past experience. The basis of your decision to marry the person is not sound. There are many people who use Deen and present a superficial good character to advance their cause.  The reality of the person comes to the fore after marriage and after living with the person. At this stage you cannot make any absolute positive claim about the person’s Deen and character.

Your parents have sound reason for their reservation on your marrying the person. His past is known. His parents marital life is also known. Marriage is a major step in ones life. Trust in your parents love and concern for you.

Their advice to you is based on true and sincere love and concern for you. They are not making things difficult for you. Rather, they are being cautious and wish to save you from a long term difficulty.

You should consider your parents advice and also make Istikhara. Do not let your emotions cloud your rationale and correct decision in the matter. Also turn to Allah with Salaat-ul-haajah and dua and Zikr.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Aboobakr Siddeeq bin Mufti Amjad Mohammad

Student Darul Iftaa 

Azaadville, JHB, South Africa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.