Question Summary:
Responsibility of father

Question Detail:

Assalamu Alaykum
A question
Forward as recieved
Respected Aalim (to whom it may concern)
I as a daughter, is well aware of the respect owing to parents however i am faced with the scenario below.
I am a  mother of 3 & delivered a baby recently and not in good health, can i  allow my siblings to give the responsibility of caring for our father especially if his a very negative person in my life whilst I have 4 brothers who should be doing it that are aalims whose wives refuse they care for him & who have put him out due to misbehaviour on his part with their own children. (He as a grandfather dsnt treat my kids well).
In these circumstances what is my duty , to insist my husband to look after my father or call in the Ulema to speak to her Aalim brothers?
Should I burden my husband even if he is unable to provide for me & his very own parents properly whilst his trying to make ends meet in maintaining me & my children??
At one stage he resided with me for over a year whilst none of the other siblings supported in any way. .
Can one refuse him or make oneself depressed & allow him in thus him causing disruption with the children telling them your father/mother is a this/that. This is causing alot of damage in my married life.
He is able to maintain himself but is a miser never would spend on his own children & even refuses to spend on himself.
What would be Sharias ruling?
An urgent answer is required.
Below is an answer from 1 Aalim thus far:
Wa Alaikum us Salaam
According to the above scenario, her father is very able and not in need of specialised care. Further, his sons have the primary responsibility to look after their father. They can not abdicate their responsibility and dump in on his son-in-law.
Under such situation, the daughter can refuse.
And Allah Ta'ala knows best
Jazakallah

Answer :

In principle, it is the responsibility of the children to provide for their parents equally if they can all afford to do so. [1]
However, if there is a significant difference in their incomes, then they should provide proportionately.[2]
If any of the children do not have their own income or can genuinely not afford it, then they are not responsible to provide for their parents.[3]
In the enquired situation, the father is financially able to support himself.
Alongside that, the daughter does not have an income.
Therefore, she is not required to provide for her father.
Bear in mind that it is not the responsibility of the son-in-law to financially take care of his father-in-law.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Saad Haque
Student Darul Iftaa
New Jersey, USA 
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.